Reconciling conservatism and queerness, losing self, finding home

Trigger Warning: discussions of suicide and suicidality

Kellen Saxberg is a self-proclaimed queer history nerd, psychedelic enthusiast, and student researcher on the intersection of queerness, psychedelics and healing. In our conversation together, Kellen and I talk about navigating conservativism and queerness in their youth, their experiences of losing a sense of self, experiencing awe and cultivating trust, and eventually moving towards finding their way back home, both literally and figuratively, in their first psychedelic experience.

A reminder that this episode contains explicit discussion of suicide. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing.

Shownotes

Links to

• Kellen’s grandfather, Donald Ross, served as one of Canada’s first openly gay ordained ministers: https://passages.winnipegfreepress.com/article/id-323/Minister,_advocate,_dad,_hero
• The quote “A book is a suicide postponed” is from Emil M. Cioran’s The Trouble With Being Born (1973) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/117564.The_Trouble_With_Being_Born

Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support:

• Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/
• Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/
• International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htm
• The Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/
• Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists

Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay

#psychedelics #podcast #tripreport